Seeing Your Ex After The Breakup

After a break up, you will probably find that you have mixed feelings about your ex. Part of you wants to see them, part of you doesn´t. Immediately after the break up, you will most likely try to avoid them, but it isn´t always possible . . . especially if you work or study together.
Bumping into your ex can be very awkward and nerve wracking. However, if you know that it might happen, you can be prepared and at least a little less nervous. Remember that your ex will most likely be nervous, as well, which means you can relax a bit.
There are several ways to prepare for bumping into someone after breaking up. First, you´ll want to look your best, so whenever you leave the house, make sure you are wearing decent clothes and have showered, at the very least. Looking good will make it easier to see your ex and you´ll avoid the rehashing afterwards (“WHY didn´t I comb my hair? Now he thinks I´m a total mess over him!”) that tends to make things worse.
Apart from always making sure you look good, you will want to appear to be having a good time, even if you feel lousy. Get in the habit of smiling a lot, so even if you are seen from a distance or in a crowd, your ex will assume that you are happy with life and moving on. This will tend to make him or her feel that you didn´t need them after all and are doing quite well on your own.
Meeting your ex is far more likely if you work or study together or even in the same area. It might be tempting to “accidentally” find yourself in the same place as your ex when you know they will be there, but it´s usually best to avoid making these run ins happen. Act natural and go where you would normally go, doing what you normally do. But, when you do run into your ex, how should you act?
If it´s unavoidable, make eye contact, since dodging his or her eyes will give the other person control and you´ll look afraid to see them. So, look them in the eye for a moment and keep on with what you´re doing. Try to avoid sneaking sideways looks at your ex when you are in the same space, since this makes you look pretty desperate and no one likes a desperate person.
Depending on how the break up happened, you may not want to speak at all. In this case a simple nod of the head is an acceptable alternative. A polite greeting is a good way to go, especially if you are going to be running into each other on a daily basis. Just “Good morning” is fine and leave it at that. There´s no reason to be chatty unless you left things on excellent terms when you broke up, which is quite rare with most break ups.
Meeting your ex after the big break up, particularly if you want to get back together, can be a very stressful event. Make sure that you are prepared ahead of time and are ready for the possibility. Planning out what you will do in this case will really help you feel better about seeing your ex again and you´ll be prepared, already knowing exactly what to do when it happens. Take the time to look good every time you go out and know what you will say if you see your ex while you are out and about.

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