Are you hurting from a recent bitter breakup? Is everyone you know telling you that it’s over and that it’s best for you to let go? Chances are, these people are right but the thing is, many people argue that true love only happens once and if you are convinced that your ex is the person who is meant for you then it would be incredibly stupid for you not to fight for your happiness or at the very least give it your best shot. When it comes to getting your ex back, there is no magic potion that you can brew to make the person come back to you, unless there is such a thing as Hogwarts and you kind of study there. Breaking up with someone you love with all your heart can be a horrible and incredibly painful experience but if you want your ex back, you are going to have to come up with a strategy to being the person back in your life.

Things not to do after a breakup

1. Begging, pleading and being downright needy

If you’ve just been dumped, then the last thing you want to do is let your world fall apart reducing yourself into a puddle of wanton and need. It’s terribly unattractive and perhaps it’s the biggest mistake you can make.

2. Developing the Doormat Syndrome

When it comes to relationships, the Doormat Syndrome is that phase in a relationship when you get out of your way, sacrificing your own happiness and pleasure to please your unscrupulous partner. Put quite simply, it’s basically what happens when a person decides to put up with just about anything including abuse and cheating just to hang onto a relationship that’s not even working.

3. Don’t freak out if your ex moves on

After a breakup it’s very common for people to have rebound relationships. If that happens to you and your ex starts seeing someone else even before you get the chance to dry your tears, don’t freak out. Think of it as a natural thing, something you need to accept together with realizing that something went wrong with the relationship you had.

Things you want to do after a breakup

After a breaking up with someone you desperately want back, you need to maintain your calm keeping your wits about you. Obviously if you love the person more than anything else in the world, putting up with the distance and void between the two of you can prove to be a challenge but it’s just something you will have to work past. After breaking up, take a break. Take some time off the person to figure out what it is you truly want. Reconnect with your old mates or take up a hobby that you once had but you never had a chance to pursue. If nothing else, you can simply choose to concentrate on your work for a while. Whatever you do, do not panic. Once you are sure you pulled yourself together, you can rekindle a casual relationship with your ex, staying on a friendly term.
Don’t be resentful and don’t do things you will live to regret.

Getting your ex back

Once you are done pulling yourself into some semblance of order and this normally takes up to a month, regain contact with your ex. For this to happen, you will need to make the opening move if the person didn’t yet. Often, people argue that a handwritten letter does the trick better than anything else.

If you are successful reconnecting with your ex, set up a meeting, not a dinner, not a movie. You want the “date” to be short and sweet but whatever you do and although you know deep down what you are up to, don’t mention the word date.

For your first let’s call it date, be the person your ex fell in love with. Show them that you’ve changed and that you are back to what you used to be. Whatever you do, don’t mention your past relationship. Just enjoy the moment and let the chips fall where they may.

If you want to learn more about exactly what you need to do to get your ex back, CLICK HERE to read this page.

When it comes to love and relationships, sometimes things don’t turn out the way we want them to. Love is not quantifiable nor is it rational. As much as we would like to think that we have some sort of control on our emotions and feelings, truth is, we, human beings, are weak creatures. We all crave love and appreciation. We all need to have the knowledge that there is someone out there who cares for us and who would do just about anything for us to be safe and happy. However, no matter how relationships start, sometimes things go bad and lovers part ways, moving forward with or without their partner.

Understanding why your relationship lost its appeal

It’s a fact of life that couples part ways all the time and most often, men and women tend to have different reasons for choosing to give up on their relationship no matter how committed they were to it. Understanding why your relationship didn’t work out can be a very challenging task in particular because people lie. If you’ve just been dumped by a person you shared many blissful moments with, chances are, when you asked them as to why they are leaving, they gave you an answer that sounded pretty much like “ It’s just not working out anymore. We are better off without each other”. The truth is, many of us fear what we feel and to some extent we find it easier to hide as compared to facing our issues and problems. Walking away and breaking a heart in the hope that the grass on the other side of the fence is greener is a lot easier than working out what’s lacking in a relationship and repairing what you’ve got already.

Taking a step back to reflect on the relationship that ended

If you’ve just been dumped then at this point in time, most people would resort to lying in bed for days, refusing to see the light of the day. You might even spend weeks feeding your body junk as if it’s your body’s fault that you chose the wrong person to offer your love and commitment. After a breakup, what you should really do is stay calm and take a step back to think about the relationship that just ended. What you absolutely don’t want to do is stalk your ex partner. Panic and desperation will only make this difficult situation worse and you will only manage to alienate your ex even more because he/she is going to think you are some kind of a freak or worse a baby.

It takes a cold person to be completely unfeeling about a breakup but just because someone walked out on you does not mean that you need to forget yourself spilling your dignity and self-esteem about yourself. You need to maintain a grip on your life.

Making a decision

It very rarely happens that a couple breaks up and that’s the end of it. Most often, the two people remain at a crossroad for a period of time. Once you are at that point and you’ve had time to reflect on your relationship, you will need to make a decision. Do you want to go down the road of reconciliation or you want another shot at love and happiness giving yourself a chance to be happy again but with someone else. To make this obviously important decision, you will need to evaluate the relationship weighing what was positive about it and balancing that with the bad things.

Seeking help and comfort from others

Believe it or not, sometimes it takes dating other people to realize that perhaps the person you thought you love was never the special one. In retrospect, sometimes the opposite can happen. It can take dating someone else to realize what you had and what you lost. Either way, moving on and giving yourself a chance to be happy again can help you get your life back on track after a breakup, no matter how bitter or painful the experience was.

So your ex is in a rebound relationship with your best friend? It would be fair to agree that there is no way to look at this particular delicate situation positively. Whichever way you look at it, it feels bad and it must also hurt a lot. The person you loved or love with someone you once thought to be your best friend. Truth is, not all friends are what they call themselves. Human beings are after all animals who no doubt evolved from eating out of garbage bins but we have not evolved as much as we would have liked to. Anyway, if your ex is in a rebound relationship with your best friend, there are basically two approaches that you can adopt to the situation. You can take things gracefully accepting that your ex is a jerk and that your best friend was not really what she called herself or you can go ballistic about it behaving like a lioness whose cub is being threatened. We recommend the first approach, which is taking things gracefully with as much dignity as you can muster.

 How to take your ex dating your best friend gracefully

Your ex is dating your best friend. We can only imagine what that must feel like and you can bet that no one can accurately quantify or qualify what you are feeling at this point in time, that feeling of having been utterly betrayed. Laying awake at night, it’s only too easy to picture the person you once shared your life with and your best friend in bed, legs intertwined, making a fool out of you, laughing at you. The best thing you can do under these circumstances is not give them the satisfaction of knowing that that they got to you. You will need to be calm and not panic although going hysteric can seem very easy and tempting.

If your ex is in a rebound relationship with your best friend, it’s ok for you to feel sad, miserable, angry and betrayed but you will need to handle the situation with care. Do not expose your emotions out there, raw and vulnerable. Play it cool. Pretend or rather convince yourself that you don’t care. In a way, if you look at it rationally, if the guy you loved and offered yourself too hooked up with your friend, he ever really cared in the first place and that puts you in the position to loathe him instead of mourn him. No woman or girl deserves that kind of treatment. The world is filled with possibilities that you can’t probably even begin to imagine. Give yourself a change to be happy. Do not let anger consume you or worse blind you. Do not let people destroy you. Live your life on your own terms.

Actually if truth be told, if your best friend is in a relationship with your ex, you should be feeling sorry for her because she knows what she is doing and while she might feel a perverted sense of triumph at the beginning, it will wear off. If fairy tales taught us anything, it’s not that all stories end happily, it’s that good always triumphs over evil.

Take this difficult phase of your life one step at a time and keep yourself busy. Maybe when you are confident enough, you can even go out with your treacherous friend and unscrupulous boyfriend just to truly make them feel ridiculous about what they did and what they are doing. Obviously if you are positively crazy about your ex, all you can do is be patient but then again, even if he does come back, what are the chances that he’ll come back a redeemed person?

Learning how to cope with your friend dating your ex takes a lot of willpower but more importantly you need to have a strategy. Get your act together now!